Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
