the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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