2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
