no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
worst night to have a conscience
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Randomize
