Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
