She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize