New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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