You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
