it wasn't lemon gatorade
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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