Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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