Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
