I'm going to jail i love you
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
