Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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