i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.