he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer