OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Come share oat with me in your robe
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
