Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
two words...techno handjob
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...