she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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