so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
