just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
