On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
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Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
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I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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