There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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