If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
