woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
