i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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