girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize