im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
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