I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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