If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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