I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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