would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
