There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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