Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
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Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
How external is "for external use only"?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
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And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize