So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So vagazzling was a success
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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