Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
