Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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