so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
