just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
