i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
