I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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