no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
