Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
