I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
