you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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