Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
