I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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