why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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