I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
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