i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
vagina is talking i cant
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
