I heard we made out
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
