whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
