A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
