Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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