so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
