I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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