get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Oh god it's open bar.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
