Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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