Plan B is the new Plan A
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
