i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
