I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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