They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
