did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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