What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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